Protection Detail
by Trivette Lover Heather
Summary: The team is assigned to protection detail with Abby and take different shifts. What will they do to pass the time?
1. Ziva

AN: This could just be a one shot, but I was thinking about Amazon Penny and her liking of Abby/ZIva, so thought I'd give her a little treat lol... This could be a Series if you'd like...members of the team and their coversations with Abby, during protection detial...let me know if that's something you would like to see...otherwise, please Enjoy... :)

-- ---

"Guys." Abby said simply. "Dudes?" She shrugged. "Men?"

Ziva looked at her confused. "Where are you going with this Abby?"

"Well ya know since you got stuck on this protection detail with me, thought maybe, I don't know, you'd want to talk about the people that are not females? It's always a fun topic to pass time." Abby looked at her hoping she was now understanding the direction she was going in.

"Why is it, that in America when women are together, they _must_ talk about men?"

Abby cocked her head sideways. "What else_ is_ there to talk about?"

Ziva sighed, peering around the room to ensure nothing was hinky; this was after all, a protection detail, not a bonding moment.

"Abby, please I must concentrate on the job at hand."

"So you're saying you can't multi-task?" Abby toned it in a way that baited her friend.

"I can." Ziva responded quickly. "I have seen this on TV, should I go get us some tissues and tubs of ice-cream."

Abby grinned. "Maybe some other time…right now, I just thought it'd be good convo."

"Convoy?"

"No, convo…sorry, its short for conversation."

"Uh huh."

Abby sat straight up in anticipation. "So… any guys of the male persuasion in your life?"

Ziva shrugged. "I do not have time for a personal life…between getting used to working here, putting up with Gibbs and the non stop schedule interruptions, it's nearly impossible."

Abby smiled. "Yeah you get used to it, and learn to find some time for yourself…sounds like you might need someone with that same kind of hectic schedule?" Her tone hinted that she may have a suggestion.

"Not Tony." Ziva blew her attempt off and took to peering around the lab once more.

"Did I say Tony? What made you think I was thinking Tony…unless…aww you do like Tony?"

Ziva huffed. "He's the only other man I work closely with."

Abby shook her head. "Uh, Gibbs, McGee…Ducky?"

Ziva smiled at her last suggestion slightly but said nothing.

"Interesting choice of words… _"closely"…_just how close do you work with Tony?" Abby tapped her fingers on the table.

"Oh stop it." She started to blush and Abby stood up and pointed at her.

"You're blushing…I didn't think your body was capable of performing that function…"

Ziva put her hand up. "Let's just rise it."

Abby couldn't help but smirk, resisting the urge to correct her. "Fine, fine, I'm just trying to start a…"

"Convoy…yes I know…but perhaps we can talk about something else yes?"

Abby was hesitant but agreed. "Fine, whatchya wanna talk about?"

Ziva sighed. "How about your men?"


	2. McGee

"So…" Abby began, twirling around in her chair, clearly bored.

McGee shook his head. "You're not gonna ask me about my social life are you? Ziva already warned me."

She set her foot down on the ground mid-twirl and stopped. "McGee, am I the kind of girl that would pry into your personal life?"

He nodded his head up and down slowly.

"Hmph" She crossed her arms over her chest. "Fine, then we don't have to talk about anything." She turned away from him and stared at her computer.

He sighed and tapped her on the shoulder. "Abby come on, I didn't mean anything by that…it's just you asked…and well, hey…I'm sorry." He watched her continue to stare straight ahead and sighed again. "Abby, come on, this is gonna be the longest detail ever if you don't talk."

She snapped her head back at him and stuck out her tongue.

"That's mature." McGee shot back, turning towards the door and looking around. "You know I'm here risking my life…thought you'd at least have a little mercy on me?"

She took in a breath and twirled around in her chair slowly. "Maybe just a little." She illustrated the amount by pinching her two fingers together.

He shrugged. "Gee thanks, but we probably shouldn't be talking too much anyhow, if something happens to you, Gibbs will kill me himself." He frowned. "And no matter what the subject is…no conversation with you is worth Gibbs death stare."

She smiled. "You'd be surprised the subjects I can come up with that would be worth it."

He took a few steps towards her. "Like what?"

She turned around quickly. "Never mind, you're right, you gotta stay focused."

"Aww come on Abby…that's not fair."

"Hey, you said it, not me."

He sighed. "Fine."

"McGee? I didn't think you'd give up that easily."

He peered around for a few seconds. "Yeah, well, let's just say working with Tony has demoralized me to no end."

"Aww McGee…you're standing here willing to lay down your life to save me, and you can't stick up to DiNozzo?"

He shrugged. "Good point."

She rubbed her hands together. "Let's make a list then."

He peered over her shoulder as she grabbed a pad and paper. "Of what?"

"Of incredibly witty comebacks you can use, of course."

He grinned. "Now _this _will be worth Gibbs death stare."

"Is that right McGee?" Gibbs spoke softly from behind him.

McGee didn't turn around and only patiently awaited the inevitable; seconds later rubbing the back of his head and mouthing silently to Abby. "Very funny."

--- ---


	3. Tony

Anthony DiNozzo walked in to find McGee and Abby giggling near her computer. He set down a paper bag and a stack of DVD's on the counter before making his way over.

"What's so funny?"

McGee grabbed the note pad and slipped it behind his back. "Nothing, we were just playing some tic tack toe to pass the time…"

"I would've figured for a suduko man myself Probie…now shoo, boss wants you upstairs PDQ."

He slipped the pad around to his chest and with a sly grin, nodded a goodbye towards Abby. "Sorry to have to leave you here with him Abs."

She smiled. "Good one Tim."

Tony plastered a fake smile on his face. "What part of PDQ did you not get Probie?"

"It's the part that's missing, that's got me confused."

"What's that?" Tony glared back at him.

"The please?"

Tony raised his hand, and McGee raced out the door towards the elevator. One head smack for the day was good enough for him. Tony couldn't help but smirk as he watched him leave and turned back towards Abby to be met with his own head slap.

"Ow, what was that for?"

"You pick on him too much Tony!"

He shook his head. "It's good for him, Abs, builds character." He rubbed his head for a few seconds then placed his hands together. "Now which movie do you want to watch?"

"Not a good idea, Gibbs already snuck up on McGee once, you can't honestly think he wont check up on us?"

"He's got the Probie checking on a huge lead…he wont leave the bull pen. Now come on…I got 'Rear Window' always a favorite…Raiders of the Lost Ark, cant go wrong with Indiana…and of course, Taxi Driver…"

"I don't know Tony…"

"Abs, come on, Gibbs will never know…"

"No, I mean I don't know which one I want to watch…I've always had a thing of Jimmy Stewart, but Harrison Ford has that Gibbness about him…"

"Well, since the last thing we want is Gibbness right now, I think we'll have to go with Rear Window…oh the Voyeurism of it all…" He scurried to the DVD's and handed it to her. As she was placing it in the disc tray, he pulled out some twizzlers and milk duds from his bag. "Got all the essentials Abs, I know how you love milk duds."

"No Tony, Ziva loves Milk Duds…I'm the raison-ette chick…"

He slapped his hand on his forehead. "How could I forget?"

"It's okay; I'll take the Twizzlers…" She snatched them out of his hand quickly.

"Hey! Come on, those are for me!" He tried to grab them back and they playfully tussled for a few minutes. "Fine, I'll eat the milk duds, but don't tell Ziva, if she finds out I didn't share, she may come for me in the dark of the night."

She laughed slightly. "I'm not so sure you'd really mind that would you Tony?"

"We work together Abby, I'm a professional."

She couldn't help but scoff loudly. "Yeah, and I'm having McGee's baby."

"That's not that much of a stretch from what I've heard." As soon as he finished he was met with a punch to the shoulder.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing that a great movie with a great guy won't change." He tried to plead his way out of the mess his mouth had gotten him into. A situation he often found himself in. "Now come on, let's just sit back and watch…Grace Kelly is calling my name."

The puppy dog look on his face caused Abby to relent, at least for now. "Fine." She hit the play button and the two of them settled onto the floor beside each other.

They were mid way through the movie, when Tony reached for the lone Twizzler remaining in the bag. He was met with swift slap to the back of his hand. "Hands to yourself DiNozzo."

"Or I'll cut them off."

The voice that interjected caused both Tony and Abby to stare at each other in fear. Tony turned his head slowly to see Gibbs standing over him. "And you'd have every right too boss…"

"What the hell are you two doing?"

"Rear Window?…Jimmy Stewart, Grace Kelly…1954 Thriller from Alfred Hitchcock…A wheelchair bound photographer spies on his neighbors from his apartment window and becomes convinced one of them has committed murder…great flick boss…you can borrow it anytime…in fact you can borrow any of my movies anytime…you wouldn't even have to give them back…ever…if you didn't want to…"

"Get up." He ordered, and slowly but surely watched the two of them stand in front of him. He lifted his index finger and motioned for Tony to follow him into the hallway. "DiNozzo…" He began.

"Boss, I know what you're gonna say, and I already feel awful. I should've known better than to think for one second, you would approve…I will never forgive myself." He held his hung low, leaving the back of his head vulnerable.

Gibbs looked at him in shock. "Wow DiNozzo, you're taking responsibility for shrugging your duties…I'm impressed…"

Tony peered back up at him confused.

"My duties? I thought you were mad we didn't watch Raiders of the Lost Ark, I know how you idolize Harrison Ford…"

And all Abby heard was the echo of a head slap as she swallowed the last of her twizzler. _This protection detail was sure causing a lot of unnecessary cranial discomfort, she thought._


	4. Gibbs

"Really Gibbs, was that necessary?" She asked referring to his most recent reprimand of Tony.

"Damn right it was."

She shook her head. "You know Gibbs, one of these days they are gonna return the favor."

He stared at her for a few moments.

"Then again, maybe not."

He left her by her computer to peer around the lab.

"Still nothing suspicious sir." She reported in a sarcastic military tone and stood at attention.

He made his way back beside her. "Is that right?"

She nodded her head up and down emphatically. "Uh huh."

"So between, guy talks with Ziva, creating witty comebacks with McGee, and cuddling with DiNozzo, you're still sure nothing is suspicious?"

She repeated her nod. "Uh huh." She snapped her fingers. "Well there is one thing…"

"What?"

"Tony and I weren't cuddling, sir." She straightened herself up, and nodded once more.

"Is that so?"

"Yes sir. I would never do that to Ziva."

Gibbs peered at her with a small grin. "Ziva David?"

"She is totally sweet on him Gibbs, I mean, almost as sweet as you are on the Director…uh…I mean, you know what I mean."

"No, please, elaborate." He watched her slouch her back a little. "Did I hear an at ease soldier?" he barked gently with an added smile.

She giggled. "You're not serious?" She was met with a glare. "You are." She cleared her throat. "Well, it's obvious that cupid is flying all around our office…you got Palmer sneaking around with Lee, he didn't honestly think he could get away with that for long… the Duck man is starting to see that new receptionist…and of course, Ziva and Tony have so much sexual tension, you couldn't even cut into it with _your_ knife." She noticed that his facial expression wanted her to continue. "And you and the Director, well come on Gibbs, we all know there's a history there…Tony even started a pool on when you're gonna ask her out…"

"He did, did he?" He shrugged. "By all means continue…"

"Right…and well, I think that's everyone." She smiled at her accomplishment.

"At ease." He replied and watched her flop down onto her chair. "That's the entire scuttle butt?"

"Down to the letter boss man…"

He leaned onto the table and shrugged. "Good."

About ten minutes went by and Abby was busy playing Be-Jeweled on her computer, as Gibbs took to reading a few reports and finishing off Tony's milk duds. When his shift was through, he gave her a soft kiss on the cheek. "I'll be upstairs." He nodded a hello to Ziva and headed towards the elevator.

"Oh and Abs, you missed something on the scuttle butt…"

She looked back at him confused. "What?"

"I hear McGee is already picking out baby names…" He smiled. "And I'd like to mention, the name Jethro is making a comeback…" He turned to leave, the smile remaining on his face.

Ziva looked at her shocked. "You are not?"

Abby picked up the phone abruptly. "TIMOTHY MCGEE!! GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!"

--- ---

End.

AN: Tony was the one who started that rumor, but Abby did say it (see ch 4). And of course, Gibbs knows everything….Hope you all enjoyed these short pieces. And for those wondering, let's just say Abby was the key witness in a huge mafia case, and they'd already tried to make a grab for her…of course, under their protection, she was never harmed and testified with flying colors. Thank you for reviewing, and Take care!


End file.
